¶ Ask Smarty Pants ¶



By Hildabrand McClure

Dear Smarty Pants:

My dear ole Aunt Madge died & the family asked me to cut out the obituary from the newspapers. I couldn’t helped but noticed that everyone died in the order of his or her name. How does this happen? Has it always been that way?

Still Grieving in Gilliam,
Jimbo


Dear Einstein:

You’re about the only person I know that has never realized that people die alphabetically. The explanation below is quite simple.

According to the laws of nature, the direction of annihilation propagation is commutated in a gravitational, rotating field, contrary to Newtonian conjecture. This is commonly called the “precession of the perihelion”, because it causes the deportment of the perihelion to move.

Therefore, all people die accordingly in alphabetical order.

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~ by Voltima on February 23, 2010.

One Response to “¶ Ask Smarty Pants ¶”

  1. Why is it that one rarely sees baby doves?

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